"Now Serving..." Me??

Something happened the other day that struck me as really, really dumb.
So, had to share.

I stopped in the local JoAnn's, which had recently moved to a new location and took on a new look.

They've added a new feature to their fabric-cutting counter... A "Take a Number" stand.

I walk up to the counter. And, even though I was one of perhaps 3 customers in the entire store--and none were in sight of the counter--the lady told me I had to take a number.

Me:  "You're kidding, right?"
Her:  "No. We have to do that now."
Me (playing along):  "Okay..."

Then, she walks to the new built-in microphone and picks it up as she flips a switch to the digital counter above her head.

Me:  "Are you really going to call my number?"
Her:  "Yes. The boss says we have to."
Her (in the microphone to the entire store):  "Now serving Number 16."
And, I had to hand her my number.

I almost peed my pants laughing at how dumb the whole thing was. But, I think she felt embarrassed enough, so I bit my lip.

Whatever. Rules are rules.

Hey, if you're in Central Indiana next Wednesday, there's a cool food event going on at the Indiana Historical Society. Tickets are still available.
It's called "Zest and Zing" and they'll be featuring local foods and local chefs in a cook-off.
Here's the link if you're interested:  Zest & Zing Info

I See What the Problem Is...

I've been feeling guilty about not blogging lately. 

Only, I didn't realize how long it's been until today.

Yeah, more than a month.

Why?

Well, I figured out what the problem is. And this post is a classic example.

I started this post more than an hour ago.

But, as I sat down with a glass of tea and a couple crackers, BabyD started yelling "Oh, no! Oh, no! Mom!!!"

So, I went running.

Yeah, the dog (that blessed 80+ pound yellow beast we all know and love) peed in the front room.

This is an extremely rare event. In the 6 years she's lived here, I bet this might be the second or third time.

So, I run to grab towels.

(I withhold the urge to slap my kid, who, instead of jumping into action, doubles over laughing at the size of the puddle. Is she really related to me?)

I soak it up the best I can.

Then I go fetch the carpet steamer out of the basement, which leads to moving around stuff that wasn't put away.

Then I have to make up cleaning solution and run the machine.

That moves me to run the washing machine so the stinky towels aren't sitting around until Saturday.

Only, it's not a full load.

So, I went from room to room, gathering up the single shirts and pants and such that were worn yesterday, after weekly laundry was done.

Only, when I get to the laundry room, I'm reminded of how badly the floor and rugs in there needs swept and cleaned.

So, I go fetch the broom and start that task. 

Only, the shoe holes in the cubbies need to be cleaned out. Yeah, there's still a pair of sandals in there, blocking the spot for winter boots.

And so it goes...

Now, an hour later, I'm finally sitting down to finish what I started.

I'm just too busy to break out the computer.

So, what  I started to blog about was the latest milestone in my life 

(insert trumpet blasts here)...

I got my braces off!

FINALLY! After 3 years and 2 months, I'm free of those horrible orthodontia!

WooHoo!

Yeah, I'm stuck full-timin' it with a retainer for a few months, until I can shift to night-only.

Braces on...

Braces off...

Now, the Nut Binge has begun.

I'm loading up on almonds and cashews and peanuts to my heart's content.

Did I mention my family blessed me with about 6 pounds of nuts for Christmas?

I've been doing without for so long. (The one time I cheated, I broke a wire and got the corresponding lecture from Dr. B.)

Forget the sticky candy and taffy... I'm nuttin' it up!

Meanwhile, in my absence from the web, I've been doing a lot of sewing and knitting and cooking up tons of freezer meals for the kids to take to lunch at school. And, much to my family's regret, I've also been in purge mode. Yeah, I'm throwing stuff out left and right. 

So, all in all, my non-blogging time has been well spent.

And, the Christmas tree was actually down by New Year's! haha!

Have You Seen Balloon Dogs?

The girls and I saw The. Funniest. Thing. Ever. at Kroger today.

Yeah, Kroger.

Of all places. Go figure.

There was a big bin of balloon dogs. Check it out:

Someone is a GENIUS!
These are those Mylar balloons with little tissue paper accordion legs and paper paws. The ribbon "leash" lets you "walk" your dog. They had everything from a wiener dog to a St. Bernard (which was bigger, but not full-sized). They have just enough air in them to stay upright on the floor.
Aren't they funny??
If they weren't $15, we'd have two at our house.
Maybe for a special occasion, I'd spring for one.

My kids would always play with balloons until they were completely flat and no longer floating. So, that makes me think:  Why didn't I think of this?
Someone was brilliant.

The girls were completely fine making a scene in the card aisle with the dogs. But, when I whipped out my red pen and decided to correct the improper use of an apostrophe on a point-of-purchase display for "Cube's". Seriously?
I couldn't take it any more. I lost it, and I started marking out punctuation.

Can I get an "amen" here?

When are people going to learn:  You don't need an apostrophe to make a word plural!!!
I was going to share a photo, but my Darling and Now-Embarrassed Daughters pushed me into the meat department and away from the scene of my crime.
They also confiscated my red pen.
We're going to have words if I don't get it back...

Lazy Mom Shout Out and a Few Observations of Late

No, I didn't fall off the end of the earth... or did I?
Sure feels like it.

First, for all you I'm a Lazy Mom fans, Stacey is airing my dirty laundry in another edition of Lazy Mom Confessions.

So, what have I been up to lately?
Well , I feel like I've been living in a whirlwind since Thanksgiving.

For an early Christmas gift, I took the daughters to Cincinnati to see Wicked on Thanksgiving evening. (The Husband opted to stay home at the last minute. Which, as it turned out, was a good thing, since he was barfing before we got an hour down the road.)

We had a great time. We stayed in a downtown hotel. And, since the show let out about 11 pm, the girls asked to go to Macy's, across the street for Black Friday at Midnight. So we did. (Three wild gals out on the town in the middle of the night. WooHoo! Look at us!)

Anyway, the most entertaining part was Occupy Cincinnati showing up to shout at all of us consumers out stimulating the economy in the wee hours of the morning. BabyD is proud to report she witnessed her first cuffing and arrest in the shoe department.

Meanwhile, back in the real world, my life is rather focused on my office moving.
Yes, for those who are keeping track, for the second time in two years. Call us gluttons for punishment.
My role in the whole thing has been working with the architects and contractors to get the construction details done, then our staff to make sure every one's new spaces work, and the moving company so stuff gets boxed and labeled. And the furniture will fit. Hopefully.
We'll find out next week!

Anyway, some of my activities during the last couple of weeks have left me with a few observations and frustrations about life (yeah, my inner curmudgeon is showing):

Frustration:  Why does the out-of-state MIL decide to tell me she's recently lost a bunch of weight only after I've ordered and shipped her birthday gift (and have her Christmas gift sitting in the closet)? You're welcome, US Postal Service, for my continued financial support in my vain efforts to please my relatives.

Observation:  Ever notice when accomplishing a really big task there's always one person in the group who just CAN NOT follow directions? The weird part? This is always the smartest person in the pack at least in his own mind.

Frustration:  Unseasonably warm, rainy falls mean we still have worms in DECEMBER!!!!

Observation: Dirty old men give me the creeps.

Frustration:  Being pinned against the wall in a conversation with a nice old guy who is spewing donut crumbs all over you as he talks. And how do I tell him he has powdered sugar all over his chin and belly? It's very distracting. (No, he's not a relative. And, no, he's not the afore-mentioned dirty old man.)

Observation:  I'm sure it did not snow today, because I actually turned around and fetched my window scraper before got too far from home.

Frustration: Ever have to go on a business trip and, literally, spend more hours in airports and on planes than at the actual business meeting at your destination? Why? Because of the idiots geniuses running the official travel agency. Tell me some one's not getting a kick-back.

Observation:  Did anyone know that Muhammad Ali is still alive? And, on a related note, I lost a bet with The Husband, because I could have sworn Liz Taylor died about 5 years ago. Oops.

Frustration:  Dirty laundry is capable of reproducing in the basket. So does junk mail on the kitchen counter.

Observation:  Why do people who wouldn't give me the time of day in person friend me on Facebook?

GP Cookbook Winner

Belated Happy Thanksgiving!
The winner of a copy of Gooseberry Patch's Slow Cookers, Casseroles & Skillets is: Mommyblogger at My Own Little Corner.
Congrats!
And, happy cooking!

Thinking of Loaning My Kid to the NBA to Move Their Negotiations Along

I did something really, really stupid this week.

(Yeah, yeah. I can hear you muttering "so what else is new?" all the way from here.)

I managed to lose my diamond anniversary ring.

I made it a little more than 10 years without misplacing it even once.
Don't I get credit for that???
The Husband bought it for me in honor of our 10th wedding anniversary.  Anyway, that was a while ago.

Fast-forward 10 years and a couple months, and you find me losing my ring---who knows where!?!
I discovered it was gone when I went to put on my watch and other daily bling on Tuesday morning. I knew I had it on when I came home Monday. I was so sure I remembered doing my daily routine, which includes taking off all jewelry as soon as I get home... before I make dinner or do anything else. (This habit dates back to my mother-in-law giving me a lecture on how to care for nice jewelry back when I received my engagement ring.)

That evening, the search-and-find mission began. Only, we turned up nothing. The Husband even got out a medal detector (because Real Men always deploy as much technology as possible to complete any task), which he ran under our bed, through my closet and under the dressers. I even pulled out every piece of garbage, one by one, in the trash can just in case I dropped it there.

To motivate the girls' participation in this quest, The Husband offered $20 to whomever finds it.
Well, long story short:  I found it Thursday morning. (Relief!) In the laundry room. On the floor. In plain sight.
Of course, I called The Husband and told him right away.

The girls found out that evening when we got home.
LittleD's first response was, "Does Dad know? Because you can tell him I found it, so he'll give me the 20 bucks--and I'll split it with you."
What? How's that work?
"Yeah," considering her lack of a good case, "You can keep $15 and I'll keep $5."
Excuse me?
Then BabyD walks in. And hears the whole deal.

Recognizing her entire scheme is now seriously threatened now, LittleD has a new offer.
"Tell Dad I found it, and I'll keep $5, you can keep $10 and she can have $5, too."
Nothing like hush money to shut up you baby sister.

Not that I'm missing any major league basketball games, don't you think those mediators could benefit from the services of a cash-starved teen? I think she can find a middle ground where everyone profits--even when they don't necessarily deserve it.

Gooseberry Patch Cookbook Give Away

It's give-away time...

The folks at Gooseberry Patch gave me two copies of Slow Cookers, Casseroles & Skillets. One from which to cook and one to give away.

 But, before I get to some of this cookbook's highlights, I thought I'd share with you my cooking tip o' the day:  Did you know your pasta water won't get hot if you forget to turn on the burner?
Yeah. It's been that kind of day, thank you.
Now, I'm recovering...

Back to my real topic of interest:
Here's a look at some of the recipes I've made over the last couple of months...
(For your cooking convenience, I put a * by some new family favorites)

Lemon Chicken & Bows  

Greek Fish  

*Slow Cooker Mac N Cheese  

*Pulled Beef Sandwiches  

Honey Chicken & Carrots 

*Cranberry Pork Chops  

*Creamy Mushroom Chicken 

Country-Style Cheesy Potatoes

Speedy Salmon Sauce  

Penne Rosa  

I'll pick a winner on Sunday, Nov. 27 from entries up to that point.

Here's how to enter (be sure to leave a separate comment for each entry): 

1. Leave a comment about which GP recipe you want to try.
2. Become a fan of Real Farmwives of American & Friends on Facebook and write a comment on the wall.
3. Follow Real Farmwives of America & Friends on Google Friend Connect.
4. Follow Gooseberry Patch on Google Friend Connect.

I'll randomly pick a winner from comment entries left by next Saturday.