How To Survive Your Teen Daughter's First Crush

I've started feeling old this summer.
While you'd think my gray hairs, aching bunions and dry skin might be the culprits, I have to say no. Actually, it's my daughters. They seem to be growing up so much lately.

LittleD and BabyD, 2000 

BabyD and LittleD, 2003

Especially LittleD. She's... well... let's just say she's "blossomed" over the last few months.
I know. I know. Perfectly normal. She's a teenager now, and this is supposed to happen. I just have to get used to looking at the young woman who is now living here, in the space once occupied by a little girl with long brown curls and a big cheesy smile. But, what happened to my baby?

When we had our daughters, I never really pictured myself with kids older than about 5.
Maybe I was in denial of what I knew, deep down, was yet to come.

So, now we've entered a new phase:  The First Crush.

In all honesty, it could be worse. (And, I'm sure it will, someday.)
You see, it's not that LittleD has a crush on a boy. It's a boy with a crush on her. And we have a front-row seat to watching this poor slob make a fool of himself.

"Timmy" used to go do LittleD's school. Even as a third-grader he seemed a bit goofy around my girl.
The last few months--practically every Sunday--he goes out of his way to walk by us in the foyer after church (and sometimes, it's way, way out of his way--contributing to his image as a fool in love), just to say "Hi" to my daughter. He's trying so hard to be cool, and smooth and "casually" run into her.
(BabyD, in true Annoying Little Sister style, refers to him as "Her Stalker.")

LittleD's usual response is to scrunch up her shoulders and roll her eyes. Like she's trying to hide, right there in the foyer.

Sorry, Timmy, she's just not into you. (Actually, she's not really into any boy right now--much to the relief of The Husband and me!)

Recently, Timmy's been creeping our direction in the pews.
Do you have a "regular" spot at church? We do. And, Timmy (little brother in tow) has been working his way closer and closer every Sunday, until, finally, this morning, they sat in the same row!
This boldness made BabyD and me giggle to no end.  Only LittleD does NOT think this is funny. (She's imposed strict orders that we are NOT to discuss Timmy, point out Timmy, refer to Timmy or even notice him noticing her!)

Now, I'm in no hurry for my daughter to grow up. And I'm not doing anything to encourage this relationship, because she's too young, and she's obviously not interested. So, that's left a real challenge of teaching her how to polite in this situation. Even if he is a bit nerdy. And shy (poor guy). I keep telling her she still needs to be courteous--without sending any signs of hope his way.

I feel kind of bad for the guy. Young love rebuffed. At least he hasn't started calling the house. Yet. (Do kids still call? They only seem to text and email to my knowledge.)
I can say, likewise, I'm not looking forward to my girls falling for boys... at least not for a long, long time yet!

I'm just sending out a word of warning to all you mommies of young girls:   It's really strange to start looking at this little (at least to me) girl as someone who is the object of a boy's desire. Suddenly, the future teen/dating years start flashing before my eyes. And my brain starts doing all the "what-ifs" that take me way off course from where we are today.

Makes me want to throw a blanket over her head and lock her in the basement until she's 27.
Maybe by then we can identify an appropriate mate through an arranged marriage process. That way we can by-pass all the stuff that goes with dating, and if she wants to date, she can take it up with her husband.
That's my survival plan A. I'll let you know how it goes.

Another Parenting Milestone

It came without much fanfare, considering the milestone that has finally arrived:

LittleD is now officially a teenager.

So, now I'm officially further along in motherhood than I ever imagined.

Does this make me old?

For some reason, when I pictured myself having kids, my mental image got the child up to about the age of 5. Six, maybe.

But teenager?

Just didn't quite picture it.

I don't know how this happened so quickly, either.

Seems like just yesterday that I brought home my dark-haired baby girl in the aftermath of a snow storm. It freaks me out a little to think that in another five years she'll be heading off to college...

Although, I must say, there's a strong chance we just might kill each other before that happens!

Along with this milestone has come the hormones. And mood swings. And yelling. Followed by slamming doors.

It ain't pretty.

But I am determined.

I will prevail.

So what do modern 13-year-old girls want for their birthdays?

Let's see... a pedicure, a manicure, a Nook, (given up on the cell phone), a Facebook account... just to name a few.

So what do discerning parents who are determined not to raise an over-indulged spoiled brat give said 13 YO?

A checking account.

When the list got out of control (and out of budget!), The Husband and I opted to take LittleD over to our local Chase Bank and open a new account.

They have a no-fee student account option that we (the 'rents) can magically control via the web. (And, yes, I declined to give her overdraft protection. When that card pops up "insufficient funds" it will stop working. Good habits are formed early.)

She's had a savings account forever, but this is one that she'll be responsible for, including the debit card.

And--here's the bonus--she can buy her own birthday gift(s).

I decided it's time we put the lessons about living on a budget into action. And, when she decided to take back the ugly birthday sweater Grandma sent and found two sweaters she liked, my response was, "Buy it yourself; you've got birthday money."

That was not the answer she was expecting. Or wanting.

Nor was that the answer LittleD wanted when she wanted some candy.

But my kid is no dummy!

Three days later, LittleD plops down on the couch and asks,

"So, is this bank account a present or a punishment?"

I think the gleam is already fading from that debit card.

Meanwhile, I think my devious plan is starting to work. She's hardly spent any of the money. (Funny how you don't need certain things when you pay for them yourself!)

She's decided to save up for a Nook. Which makes me think she might be growing up even faster than I think!

Meet Me On Monday

1. Have you (only you..not a group) ever won first place in anything?

A: I won a jar of candy corn in third grade when I guessed how many.

I also won Best Halloween Costume once, where I used to work. I dressed as Jackie Kennedy at the funeral. Tacky. But it paid off.

2. Are your toes always painted (sorry guys...this question for girls only)?

A: No. It's winter, so all my toes care about are wool socks!

3. What color eyes do you have?

A: Blue. Little bloodshot, after how I slept last night!

4. Look to your left....what do you see?
A: Empty bed where The Husband will be hogging the covers in a couple hours. (Surprised there's not a kid there, wanting bedtime cuddles.)

5. Soft cookies or crunchy cookies?

A: Depends: Chocolate chip--soft. Thin Mints--crunchy.