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Saturday, January 29, 2011

Sometimes Less is More

Thanks to everyone passing along thoughts and prayers for LittleD, after the sudden death of her friend.
It's been so encouraging to see how the seventh grade girls at school and church have really pulled together to support each other. And the staff at our school has been so amazing and supportive. I'm so thankful my kids are surrounded by a network of Christian teachers who can pour on the love when they really need it.
Even with heavy hearts, the kids pulled of three performances of the school musical, dedicated to the memory of their friend, who was part of the drama team. I, and a lot of others, wondered if they could do it. But it seems the kids needed to do it to let off some steam and emotion.
We hit rock-bottom over the weekend when we went to the viewing. I think everyone in two counties showed up. It's so hard to see a 12 year-old girl lying in a casket.

This week has gone much, much better. In spite of a mighty busy work schedule the last few days. Emotionally, we had to shift gears because BabyD turned 11 this week.
Or, as she tells me, "officially pre-teen now."

We did dinner out during the week, then Party Day came Friday evening.
She invited just three friends over. The big, crazy girl party is just not her style. Unfortunately, only two of her pals could make it, but that was okay.

They were undeterred.
The girls made their own pizzas. Add strawberries, a little cake, ice cream and a Wii, and you've got the makin's for a great party.
At least that's what my guests told me.

Friend 1, eating ice cream: "You know, this is really nice."
Friend 2: "Yeah, it is."
Me: "What's nice?"
Friend 1: "Just us. Not a bunch of crazy kids running around."
Friend 2: "Or girls screaming."
BabyD: "Or acting crazy."

Wow. This is all it takes to make 11 year-olds happy?
No more Mom Guilt for me!
So I don't throw big, giant parties for my kids with bounce houses and entertainment.
Looks like less can be more!
Lesson learned.
I do still feel guilty for getting BabyD a store-bought cake this year. But the way my work week played out, there was no getting one made. I did put my own candles on it...


  1. My children have had to deal with the loss of (sad to say) several friends and it is so very hard to go through. The hardest part for me was knowing what to say and when to say it, all the while, I was hurting too. I prayed and prayed for the right words and with God's strength we all pulled through, but still deal with loss almost daily.
    I'm so sorry to hear of your daughters friend. But, I'm happy that she had a Happy Birthday. I'll be praying for you, your daughter and her friends family.

  2. You are a great Mom! Still saying prayers and sending mental hugs!
    I agree 100% on no big party's - way too much stimulation for the kids (and me), I could never figure out how you were suppossed to make lasting friendships with 15 girls running around - invariably there will always be tension! Good for you for keeping it simple!

  3. My goodness, that must be so tough dealing with friend's death at such a young age.Big support means so much and it seems like your daughter and her friends have it.

    I used to do big parties and celebrations before my hubs lost his job. We had to tighten our belts and change our lives completely and that's when I discovered my boys like the little and simple things like hanging with family doesn't matter where.

  4. Yeah, that's tough, but you are handling it wisely. So little D is an actor, dancer? Good for her. Drama clubs are so amazing for young kids. It must make her happy to get all that approval from her Mom.
    Love and Peace,