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Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Does Your Wedding Dress Still Fit?

I really don't know the answer to that question myself.
I suspect I do... but I'm in no hurry to confirm it.
After all, 19+ years of cookin' for The Husband, birthin' two children and a sedentary office job just might be reflected in my thighs...

I had half a mind to try on the white taffeta dream when BabyD recently convinced me to pull it out for her to take a look.
Then I came to my senses.
So, I let her try it on.
(I didn't realize how bad the picture was until I uploaded it. Sorry for the blur.)
She immediately wanted to parade it around the house.
He 10-year-old little frame didn't exactly fill it up. But I did get an eerie peek into the future... and I had to shudder. Not ready for my baby girls to grow up just yet. Or be interested in boys. Or dating. Or all the other stuff that comes with...

The Husband and I were actually thinking of setting up an Arranged Marriage for each of the girls. That way we can by-pass some of the stress of teen girls dating. If they want to date, they can talk to their husbands. Sounds too simple.

Actually, I do have a co-worker who has been married for 37 years to a woman his parents picked. And he thinks it's a great system.
In fact, this summer, his son married a young woman he and his wife selected (along with the bride's family). The whole thing was very interesting to me. The son, who had graduated from college a little more than a year ago, was quite ok with the whole thing. His parents suggested it was time for him to "settle down" and they simply asked him if he'd like them to find a wife. The son totally had a choice about it, and agreed. In his family, and their culture, this is a normal part of life. Even here, in the United States, in 2010.

So, my first question to my co-worker was, "Where does one find a wife? Do you have a catalog? A web site? How do you go about that?"
Turns out, the folks from his native country is stay fairly well connected here in the U.S. They just put the word out to some other families with daughters of the marrying age and that's how they found the bride.

And she's not some uneducated girl trying to climb the economic ladder by marrying a U.S. citizen. She's a pretty, educated recent college grad, who grew up in the Western U.S. She, like the groom, just respects the cultural norm in her family.

The young couple had total veto power. They did meet and talk by phone, separated by several states. Any "dates" were chaperoned (see why I'm liking this for my daughters?). And, ultimately, they got to decide for themselves. I guess it's more like parental match-making. And, my co-worker says they feel good that their son is marrying into a good family, they've known for years, with common values. What more could you ask for for your child?

Fortunately, arranged or not, we're still years away from marrying off our girls.
But that doesn't stop me from keeping an eye out for good families with smart and charming boys.

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  1. As a mother of two young girls, I will be following this train of thought with bated breath! Take good notes! ;-)

  2. I can see how that system would have its appeal. At least you would feel like your daughter would be with a good man from a good family. Shared values. Similar backgrounds, etc. The fact that the kids have veto power makes the system not so outdated that it seems archaic and/or barbaric. Hmmmm.

  3. Nope. Not even close. I actually pulled my wedding dress out of the bag a few weeks ago and was immediately shocked at how skinny I was! It could NOT have been healthy. OR maybe I just ought to lay off the cookies.

  4. Love this really gives some interesting insight into another culture. Thanks for that :)

    And thanks for your comment on my guest post at work, wife, mom, life! You're right many people don't seem to understand the fact that many of us don't have the option to stay at's a tough balancing act, isn't it?!

    PS - I'm your 100th google follower - Yay! I feel like there should be some kind of celebration;)

  5. Thought-provoking post! I've heard that the satisfaction rate from arranged marriages is quite respectable. The idea gives me pause, to say the least. But it's an interesting alternative to the (often unrealistic) ideal of Endlessly Perfect, Sparks Flying, Romantic Love that many people have. (But I'm really glad I got to pick my own!)