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Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Makin' My First Million: Cow Cuddling

For those of you who saw my post about my visit to the hog farm, you might be interested to know that the tour gave me things to think about (other than my skivvies). I've been thinking about how to make my first million.

The other day of the two-day tour included an inside look at some of the most modern milk production facilities in the state: Four Leaf Clover Dairy.

Hostess-with-the-Mostest Leontien VandeLaar (shout out to fellow blogger Leontien) did a great job of showing us around and answering all the questions about life on a really BIG dairy (2200 cows!).

Quote of the day (when explaining how the herd nutritionist monitors the cows' digestive health): "He looks for a good, round pie."

I've been on many dairies over the years and, I have to say, Four Leaf Clover tops the list for well-kept and clean. Granted, it's a fairly new operation, but it's obvious the family takes a lot of pride in maintaining a top-notch operation that contributes to the local community in a positive way. They also put a lot of effort into keeping the cows healthy and comfortable, so they produce a high-quality product. The cows even have their own motorized back brush/massager!

Anyway, on to my new entrepreneurial venture...
Leontien joined us for dinner and excessive chatting that evening. She proceeded to tell us all how a popular pass-time in her native Holland is the practice of Cow Cuddling.

Yes, people--usually city folk--will PAY MONEY to cuddle with cows. Who knew?

Leontien tells me Europeans will drop $150 to lie down and snuggle in a pasture next to Bossie!! (That price includes tea and cookies afterward.) She even pulled up a website on her phone to prove it, in response to my disbelief. (Granted, I had to rely on her translation into English, so I'm trusting she's not pulling my leg on this one! Or I really look like a Dufus here!)

I'm thinkin' I should get in on this one!

If I can get folks to ante-up to hug a cow, surely The Husband would let me get one! How could he not??!? It's not like I'm inexperienced in this area!

(You see, I love, love, love cows and, the city-boy I married doesn't see any reason to have any of our own, since we have easy access to all the cows we could want at Kroger.)

So, I'm doing the math...

If I start with 2 cows and sell three 2-hour cuddles per cow every Saturday for $25 a session (my get-'em-hooked teaser rate; I'll hike it later)... That's $600 a month! The girls and I could set up a booth at the county fair. with their 4H babies... "$10 for 10 minutes"... hand out coupons... sell gift certificates... yeah, I could probably retire in 60 years or so...

Does anyone else think I'm on to something? Wouldn't you want to cuddle up to a cow?

Apparently the Dutch do. If you want to check this out for yourself, just go to YouTube and search the Dutch word "koeknuffelen".


  1. Sounds like a good plan to me!!!

  2. BINGO! I think you could also make money letting the city dwellers bottle feed the calves. That really is a lot of fun. After giving the older calves in the calf hutches their milk in a bucket, they would lean over and "clean" each others faces. I now know where the term "Suck face" came from. [You would probably have to have seen "On Golden Pond" to have that term be familiar!] There I go again, showing my age ;-)

  3. That was the best convo of the week! I have been waiting for this post and you didn't disappoint :)

  4. I am still chuckling. We blew it and sold the cows before we heard about this business opportunity!

  5. Once you have your business model set lets talk! haha!!

  6. Okay...I looked this up on youtube. This is hilarious! Sign me up for a $25 session! ;) hahaha

  7. too funny!!!! Sounds like a great way to make a million to me!

  8. Just read this and love the idea! I have more pictures of my kids "cuddling" with cows at the county fair and cattle shows - I think you should go for it!!!!

  9. I know I'm a bit late to this conversation, but I would love to cuddle a cow. How about a discount rate of $10 for 15 minutes?

  10. Go to or, or or and see some cow cuddling in Australia.