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Monday, November 1, 2010

Weird Halloween Request: What Would You Do?

So I was doing LittleD's hair to go with her fancy, dancy princess get-up for Halloween.

It felt more like a dry-run for the prom, not just a couple hours of trick-or-treating and a party at the church. She's really, really into doing her hair PERFECTLY right now.

She looked especially pretty in the fancy ball gown (former bridesmaid dress) and opera gloves that were a total deal at my favorite bargain haunt: The Willy

BabyD, meanwhile, was getting decked-out as a moose.

Yes, a moose. Go figure. But she loves moose (meeses?).

She wore all brown and I made some really BIG antlers out of light brown felt, that I stuffed and sewed to a brown hat. She was so wide, she couldn't fit in the car! It was very funny. She refused to let me take her picture.

Anyway, I heard a thumping on our front door.

Couldn't possibly trick-or-treaters.
In 15 years we've never had a single one. (We sort of live out side of town, on a hill, up a long gravel lane.)

I peek out the widow to see a teen-aged boy (maybe old enough to drive?) in a full-body gorilla suit--minus the head. With him is a girl dressed in surgical scrubs and all kinds of blood on her face and neck. She was, maybe, 8 or 9. For one brief moment, I thought the girl might be injured with a nose bleed.

I open the door, all the while trying to place how the heck I know these kids. Because there's NO WAY total strangers would venture up our drive to trick-or-treat.

And, if they did, I wasn't prepared.
So, they were going to get either a slice of bread or a carrot!

The Headless-Ape Boy says to me, "I know this is weird, but, can she use your bathroom?"

"What?" I said, totally confused.

"Can she use your bathroom?"

"My bathroom? You are kidding right?" I couldn't believe this. I'm starting to wonder if this is a set up for a robbery.

"I told her we're almost to town, but she says she can't hold it."

On cue, Bloody Girl grabs her pants and starts doing a little dance, whining, "I really got to gooooo."

"This is really weird," I said.

"I really have to peeeeee," she whines.

"Ok." I relented and walked her to the bathroom by the kitchen. Leaving Headless-Ape Boy on the front step.

"Thank you," Bloody said.

Now what should I do?

Like any good mother, I decided to have a Positive Impact on the Youth of Today. So, I stood out the door as she did her "stuff", and imparted some wise advice on this child (or "lectured" as my kids would put it):

"You know this is really strange. You couldn't hold it? When I was your age, my mom would make me pee on a bush. By the road. I've peed on lots of bushes. And trees. Right by the road. Next time, you need to pull over and go in the weeds. Or just learn to hold it. You really shouldn't use a total stranger's bathroom."

I admit it: I was listening through the door. I wanted to make sure she wasn't plugging my commode. Or stealing my towel. Or pocketing my hand lotion.

Who knows? This was really weird.

I was relieved that Headless-Ape Boy was still standing on my porch and not stealing the tires off my car or something. With that they took off.

Now, is that not the weirdest Halloween request ever?
I was afraid we'd run into them at the church party.
Or, better yet, we would!!!

Would you have let Bloody Girl in to pee?

I would never stop at a total stranger's house no matter how bad my kid has to go! My girls can just pick a tree. (They've never taken me up on the offer--hence, they've also learned to go before we leave the house!!)

Sippy Cups and Cloth Bums


  1. That is odd. I think you handled it well, though.

  2. Were their parents around? If not, i am sure the boy was just as confused as you. We want to assume that people, in general are good, but thanks to the media and bad people, it is sometimes hard to see the Light. Glad you let her go though. I found out this fall that little girls peeing in the great outdoors is an acquired skill, and I am sure Ape Boy and the little girl would have come away with some added ick to their costumes. ;0

  3. That's just too wierd for me and I would not have been as kind as you. Kid or not, you just can't be too careful, can you? Anyhow, I'm with you, if you can't make it kiddo then go beside the car. =D

  4. OH my word, I would have so told her to go around back and pop a squat. Or sent her to my mother-in-laws!!!